My lovely and gracious wife alerted me to this, so I decided to throw a post up about it.
For those of you whose kids were born in the hospital, and I know that's most of us, you probably remember receiving a "free" sample bag from one of the major baby formula companies. Nice bag, equipped to carry bottles, and even came with a couple of free samples of formula.
Now, ignoring the point about Nestle's repeated patently evil actions in 3rd world countries regarding formula, we all know that this is an economics game. The formula companies give hospitals monetary kickbacks as well as reduced price formula for use in the NICU, in return for the hospitals giving everyone one of these bags. I'm of the opinion (and science supports me) that breastmilk is the far superior food for newborns, and that physical and emotional health of both mom and baby are substantially enhanced by breastfeeding as long as possible (in my case, my 2-year-old continues to nurse, albeit briefly, even as my wife is pregnant with another.) Conversely, physical and mental health of mother and baby are compromised by the use of inferior product - formula - as the primary means of sustenance.
Still, the bags are being handed out, and you have to figure that their availability is influencing new moms, at least to some degree. The response to this is a website called banthebags.org, a new website set up by concerned moms citing evidence that there's just too much evidence that moms are in fact being influenced by these "free" samples. They've even been featured on NPR.
Not to be outdone, there's now momsfeedingfreedom.com, which advocates for not banning the bags. It was set up in direct response to the banthebags movement. It's all about how important it is for the bags to be distributed because not distributing them denies new moms adequate information and education about their options. The site pays lip service to the "breast is best" concept, but it ignores all sorts of scientific evidence and you can just tell it's a pro-formula site. In fact, it's sponsored by the International Formula Council. And yes, that means it stinks worse than formula spit-up. Out the window goes any appearance of being objective. The cool thing is, there is a blog on the site, and the majority of the comments are pro-breast and anti-formula.
So, Catholic Dads, as we know, breastfeeding is a key part of natural child spacing and therefore NFP...so if any of your wives are militant breastfeeders as my wife is, have them check out the above sites and include their two cents.
Disclaimer: I am a La Leche League Dad - I am unabashed in my support of breastfeeding mothers. I believe breastfeeding is far superior to anything else for babies. That said, I do understand there are rare situations where it just doesn't work for one reason or other. I do not condemn anyone for their personal decisions. Rather, I condemn the aggressive marketing of the formula industry as well as the cultural mentalities that have made formula feeding so mainstream. Don't string me up, please!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
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23 comments:
Wow. Timing is everything...I was just reading on Dr. Mercola's site this morning about boycotting Nestle and their actions in 3rd world countries.
We just delivered in a hospital in April. Even though I was obviously breastfeeding, the staff was very adamant to send us home w/ tons of formula samples. Soy, milk-based, starter bottles...you know, in case "nursing didn't work out".
I know formula has a time and place and it's what some babies need. However, as I had no problems nursing, it was a bit annoying to be swayed (thru actions) in the societal way of formula feeding.
By the way, I love how you point out that breastfeeding is a prt of NFP. It seems that fact is not mentioned often enough.
Thanks for a great post.
-from a wife/mother happily married to a Catholic dad
We have breastfed all three of our kids. In our first two, they weened themselves. For our last - she is still breastfeeding at 7 months.
But I disagree with the statement about breast feeding as long as possible. There are some that would breast feed to 4 or 5 or 6. It is my opinion that this can do damage to the child. I have found that some who continue breastfeeding beyond infancy are doing so more for the parents psychological needs than for those of the child.
I appreciate that you are fans of La Leche league. I am not. We tend to be a bit more traditional in our parenting style.
Also, I don't have a problem with people giving me free stuff. They makes GREAT donations (that is where our formula went). Of course companies want to sell more stuff (that is what they do), but I don't have to use it.
Although my wife and I aren't full-fledged members of LLL, I'm about as staunch an advocate of breastfeeding as a dad can be.
I'm somewhat puzzled by RobK's apparently perceived dichotomy between an LLL-style parenting approach and a more traditional parenting style (unless I'm misreading his comment), but I do agree with him that cans of formula make for great donations.
Our fourth was born in early May, and within a few weeks of his birth, we received *in the mail* a can of Enfamil. (Note: Our son was not born in a hospital, so even we homebirthers aren't immune from receiving their wares!)
We gave the formula to a local pregnancy resource center, as these centers can always use such donations for their clients -- many of whom had previously considered abortion.
Rob K,
It is actually a misconception that children who breastfeed beyond infancy are doing it to meet the mother's psychological needs. If so, then most of the world's mothers have these psychological problems - did you know that the worldwide average weaning age is actually four years old? children in our culture are pushed to wean earlier than they would naturally, because we as a culture are so concerned with independence. We feel that they will not be independent if they are still nursing at 18 months, or 2 or 3 years. They have their whole childhoods to grow into independence gradually..and they will all wean themselves at some point. Women who have children who nurse longer than a year in our culture are typically not substituting any feedings with bottles, pacifiers, other foods - they are not holding off on nursing or doing other things that would cause a child to seemingly self-wean, but these same mothers are certainly not forcing their toddlers to nurse... you simply cannot force a child to do it, because if they don't want to, then they won't.
I am curious as to what sort of damage you think can be done to a child who is still nursing at four or five (other than maybe people with cultural misconceptions saying something derogatory or perverted to the child, which I would hope nobody would do!). A child at that age has no concept of our culture's sexualization of breasts... unless somebody has been teaching him, or he's been watching too much TV.
I could also define my parenting style as traditional, but that would mean as in how people used to do it many, many years ago.
I respect your opinions and your own decisions, but I ask that you look into some of the information out there about "extended" nursing and how there is no evidence to show it as being harmful to children or to meet the mother's needs (I have no need for my 2 year old to be nursing still - but I am doing it because she's not quite ready to stop, and she is still getting wonderful immunities from it, and research I have done has shown that this is totally natural).
Anyway, the post was not on weaning ages, but on the actions of the formula companies. I also do not have a problem with companies giving out samples... but not samples of formula to women who are sometimes vulnerable and uneducated just after giving birth. Having the formula in their homes in the early days makes them more likely to turn to it sooner than if they'd have to go buy it themselves. I think that institutions who are supposed to have our health as their first interest should not be doing what may undermine a breastfeeding relationship or otherwise cause it to end sooner. If people want free samples of formula, they can volunteer their information to the companies and have it sent to their doorsteps... the companies do this as well, even to people who they somehow get information about. If you sign up for free parenting magazines, you end up with formula samples. How about just giving it to people who freely choose to receive it? Now that would be "freedom."
I wanted to clarify something I said above... it would be clearer to say, "mothers are not substituting their child's desire to nurse with other foods, bottles, pacifiers." By saying "feeding," it makes it read like these mothers are withholding food from their toddlers, which is not how it was intended. I just meant that the child was not being put off by being offered these other things so that the mother could avoid nursing him.
I do not think it is a misconception that parents who are breast feeding at 4 and 5 years old are fulfilling their own needs. And there is no clear solid research about very late breastfeeding. The sample sizes are just not big enough, which leads me to rely on my understanding of general and developmental psychological research (of which I am quite familiar) and personal experience.
And a parent can absolutely train children to do all kinds of things. Don't think otherwise, that is our whole idea in raising them - we shape their behavior
I think that the impact on the child hurts development of the self, but would rather not debate this in a com box. I am generally of the opinion that folks should do what they think is best for their kids.
I do have a visceral reaction to some La Leche proponents preaching long term child breastfeeding. ANd many (but not all) La Leche parents adopt a permissive, boundary free parenting style.
I have had some very unpleasant experiences with La Leche folks - more than a couple. Most have been more than just enthusiastic. It becomes almost like a religion.
That's my experience, hence my original post.
We gave away all of our samples, and the "checks" they sent later, to friends who had already made the decision to use it. The "nicest" sample pack I got from family, not even the hospital! The pressure to conform can be crushing and insidious. (None of ours ever got formula--nursed for 13-14 months, when my belly was too big with the next one to be really comfortable).
Those weren't even the most offensive things we got in the mail after our first, though. That award goes to the ad regarding urinary incontinence after birth!
So do you think that most parents worldwide are only breastfeeding 4 and 5 year olds to meet their own needs? This is simply your opinion, and that would mean that the world is in a pretty sorry state, having the majority of women using their children to meet their needs... I cannot believe that most of the world's women are emotionally disturbed in this way. I cannot speak for others, but I have never made my child nurse, nor have I seen any other mom try to force her child to nurse. I will find some links showing that longer breastfeeding does not harm children...
here are a few:
http://parenting.ivillage.com/tp/tpweaning/0,,40lb-p,00.html
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html#social
On that one, you have to scroll down to the part about nursing toddlers being socially well-adjusted. A statement is included from the American Academy of Pediatrics (a very mainstream group) saying that there is no upper age limit to nursing and that it does not cause psychological damage. This link also contains a long list of benefits to the mother, none of which include her emotional needs being fulfilled in any way.
http://www.kellymom.com/newman/21bf_toddler.html
And this one (by Dr. Jack Newman) does state that a mother could continue the relationship for her own emotional problems, but that doesn't mean anyone nursing an older child is doing this. He points out that there are other ways that adults try to meet their needs through their children, and that the problem is not simply extended breastfeeding - it is the underlying emotional problem.
So I can agree that there may be women who use nursing and other things to meet their own emotional needs... but it is wrong to assume that this is true in all cases. Most mothers nursing four year olds are not doing it due to emotional issues.
I also wanted to say that LLL does not endorse "permissive parenting," but some people apparently interpret it that way. LLL advocates "loving guidance," and the people you are mentioning seem to be missing the word "guidance." Please don't think all LLL parents ignore their children's behaviors as they run wild, trashing the house. There is no guidance involved in that, which LLL would not support!
As a side note, I recently discovered that all the 7 LLL founders were Catholic mothers. Which doesn't mean that all Catholics should be LLL members, of course! But I found LLL through following the Catholic teachings against contraceptives, actually, so I thought it was neat that it was founded by Catholics.
I am a physician, and father of five (breast fed) sons. Breast milk is IMHO to be referred to formula, particularly for newborns and infants. Having said that, there is clearly a certain, well...shall we say radical mentality, which over portrays the benefits of breast feeding while demonizing formula and those companies who manufacture the same. The fact is that there is a legitimate role filled by infant formula. I agree with RobK that breastfeeding beyond early childhood years (and I am speaking of mother/child in the developed world) fulfills a maternal need rather than a child's need. There is no "harm" in breastfeeding older kids, just no additional benefit.
Good idea about donating the unused formula. We should've thought of that. :(
While I agree w/ Rich (the physician commented above) that formula does have a legitimate role, I can't go w/o saying this: The use of formula has become more "legit" BECAUSE of how much society pushes its use. Advertising, marketing, and things like sending you home w/ free samples really make you think it is superior. It also influences too many people to think that formula feeding is the better, easier way to go!
Not that anyone here personally stated those things. (anyone who has ever had to wait for a bottle to heat up while a hungry infant cries knows what I mean!) It's just a point to be made regarding the over-use of free formula samples being given. In stead why can't we offer better traning and encouragement for breastfeedsing?
Rich,
Do you think the continued immunities given to a child through breastfeeding are of no benefit? This is a benefit that does not cease during the entire breastfeeding relationship. I also cannot see where you get any evidence that mothers who nurse longer in the developed world are only doing it to meet their own needs. First, why are we different from the 3rd world countries in this way? Our babies may not depend on it for nutrition when they are older, but they still have a need for closeness as they slowly become less dependent, and they still have a need for the natural immunities. Their systems also develop at a similar rate, maturing slowly as they grow. I know one mother here in the USA who nursed two of her children until about age 5 - a little more with one and a little less with the other. That mother did not force it on them - I never even saw her suggest that they nurse at these older ages - and yet they continued to nurse, perhaps as a need to be close to their sometimes over-busy mother. No way was she nursing them to meet her own needs. I do not want to turn this into a male/female thing (after all, I am the one reading a blog for dads!), but honestly, as men, you cannot know that females nurse for longer periods to meet their own needs. It simply is not true, unless the mother has some kind of issues anyway. You cannot make blanket statements like, "All mothers who nurse beyond the first two years are just trying to meet their own needs." It is actually a somewhat insulting idea, to think there are people out there (especially people who have never nursed anyway) thinking that I have unmet emotional needs and am making my child nurse in order to get those needs fulfilled. I have anecdotal evidence, and I have done reading about it (including the links I mentioned above), and nothing points to mothers doing extended breastfeeding for this twisted purpose. I do hope that any husbands here whose wives and babies do continue nursing into their toddler and/or preschool years will not tell their wives that they must just be trying to meet an emotional need.
But I do appreciate your comment that you do not think it will harm a child to be nursed for a long time. Others apparently think it will.
Sharon, I agree very much with your last comment regarding formula. Well said.
Formula is more prevalent because people believe that both parents need to work outside of the home. Many women are looking to get back to work in 3 months or less.
It is a symptom of our society more than a function of marketers. Marketers do not create a need, they merely tap a need (or pervert a different need).
I sure didn't mean the response to this post to go the way it has - I didn't intend a debate on duration of nursing. What this post is about (was about) is marketing tactics of formula companies. I'm all for free samples - I enjoy a cookie at the grocery store, or a sample of lunchmeat. But what if the grocery store staff were to get in the face of every single customer who walked in and forced that sample cookie into their hand, and then just as they were about to leave, forced a pack of a few cookies into their hand "for the road?" Cookies are a good example, seeing as they can often have ingredients that aren't too good for the body - refined sugar, hydrogenated oils, bleached flour, etc. That's basically what the hospitals are doing in partnership with the formula companies. Yeah, you don't have to eat that sample cookie, but it's still essentially getting pushed on you. I'm not opposed to the capitalistic concept - the formula companies want to "sell more stuff," yes, but when they do so at the expense of literally millions of babies - that's patently evil marketing. I'm referring here to Nestle's sending of white women dressed up like nurses into 3rd world countries, into the hospitals, giving brand-new mothers samples of formula for "when your milk dries up." The implication? Your milk will dry up and you'll need formula. What's it really hard to find in 3rd world countries? Clean water. What do you need to mix up formula? Water. So, mix impure water with formula mix, feed it to your infant, and your infant dies, where he would have had a much better chance at surviving had he been on the breast.
About donating the samples: Good idea, but consider that the young women going to the crisis pregnancy centers are in the worst possible financial position to become users of formula...just a thought...
Be careful about generalizing "many" LLL parents as being permissive parents. That might tempt you to believe that LLL condones permissive parenting (permissive parenting = contradiction in terms). How do you feel when someone tells you that the Catholic Church must be okay with contraception since "many" of Her members use contraception?
"Catholic wife and mother" has made some great points - to them I have nothing to add. Thanks to everyone who has chimed in on this topic.
Like I said, I didn't intend the conversation to go this direction; perhaps we should create a new post asking all us Catholic dads for how long our wives nursed our munchkins, just for perspective.
Rob K,
I do agree that mothers' feel that they must return to work plays a big role... and of course, formula companies want to take advantage of that! It is another way for them to get more customers. I know many people say that maternity leaves need to be better... but maybe more people could also live at a less extravagant level, truly find out what it would cost for them to stay home... I know there are truly some moms who need to work, but there are so many who just think they do, or think they have to because society will see them as lazy and it will make them feel "unfulfilled" as well. It is a societal problem, for sure.
CW&M, is that a point of agreement? :D
In our household, we have chosen to not have a double income. The Lord has smiled on us in allowing me to earn enough for this to be viable.
I do not know why so many women think that they have to work outside of the home. My own opinion is that radical feminism has created new wage slaves and undermined our families by telling women that they should be just like a man.
Btw, apologies if I have expressed my view too strongly. I think there is room in this world for multiple perspectives. As I said, I believe that parents should do what they believe is best for their children. I don't think the world hangs in the balance on this one. :)
Yep, I totally agree w/ you on the radical feminist stuff! Completely and without a doubt!
I also agree that the world doesn't hang in the balance on the extended nursing issue... I am really happy when women who hadn't planned to nurse end up nursing for any amount of time! I just wanted either facts to show that mothers actually nurse for long times for their own needs (I am not aware of anything proving this), or a statement that it was just your opinion that mothers do this. I can leave opinions alone; it's just when a misconception is brought up as something that is true - that's when I always seem to jump in!
I am sure we agree on a lot more - obviously, we're both Catholic for one thing!
Yes it is my opinion. As a person with a PhD in psychology, it is not an uninformed opinion. But it is my opinion.
Is it an opinion about all mothers around the world, or just those in developed countries? And if a woman told you she was nursing her four year old for his own benefit and not to meet any needs of her own, would you take her word for it?
RobK said:
ANd many (but not all) La Leche parents adopt a permissive, boundary free parenting style.
I noted in my previous comment that I was somewhat puzzled by what I perceived as your perceived dichotomy between an LLL-style parenting approach and a more traditional parenting style, but now I see where you're coming from - thanks for clarifying.
I am in no position to judge any individual - first world, third world or otherwise.
Human decisions are complex, and I am sure there are many good folks making decisions in accord with what they believe is best for there kids.
If our kids turn out as well adjusted and faithful adults - we will have done well.
Chris, my wife thinks you are right about your original question, and that I overstate my points some times.
:)
Sorry for the detour.
To the dad who originally posted, Thank you thank you thank you for supporting your wife and all the breastfeeding mothers out there. :-) We appreciate it! I think the formula website is a desperate attempt to hold on to their propaganda avenue, i.e. the hospital bags. I have seen quite a few impressionable, hormonal, sleep deprived new moms who have turned to those free samples in a particularly difficult moment (such as that growth spurt that happens at the three week mark). And that one bottle turns into a few more and before they know it, they have major supply issues and their breastfeeding relationship is derailed. I believe there is research pointing to the formula samples' effect on breastfeeding duration.
As for the "permissive" parenting style of LLL members, LLL philosphy advocates "loving guidance" that is not permissive, but is respectful of the child and not violent. And as for the statement that mothers who choose to nurse their children past infancy are doing it for their own personal benefit, I don't think I've ever met a mom nursing a 3 or 4 year old who is doing it against the child's wishes. It is often the case that the mom is more than ready to wean, but her child still has some very real needs that are being met by breastfeeding and that mom chooses to make a personal sacrifice to continue to meet her child's needs in this way. Moms make a lot of sacrifices for their children, including continuing to breastfeed even when society is telling you it's "gross" or "disgusting" or should be done in a bathroom stall. And that is a real shame, because it is a beautiful act of service on the part of the mother, giving herself freely to her child to meet her child's needs in the way that God designed. When I'm breastfeeding my child, I have an overwhelming sense that I'm fulfilling God's calling on my life and I'm so very very thankful that He designed me so perfectly to meet my child's nutritional, immunological, and emotional needs through such a wonderful thing as breastfeeding.
Here's an update from the "Moms Feeding Freedom" web site -- despite their stated support for access to informatino, they've begun censoring pro-breastfeeding posts. Read more on the Ban the Bags web site.
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